the donkey and the well

November 20, 2012 at 6:37 am (Uncategorized)

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred – Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries – Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

You have two choices… smile and close this page,
or LIKE this and pass it along to someone else to SHARE the lesson.

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to karoline

July 14, 2011 at 5:59 am (Uncategorized)

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fucking auto correct

July 14, 2011 at 5:57 am (Uncategorized)

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spider funny

April 22, 2011 at 6:24 am (Uncategorized)

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April 22, 2011 at 1:14 am (Uncategorized)

VCTien: i have this friend who is a nurse
VCTien: in a maternity ward at a hospital
VCTien: and she gets to introduce the new babies to their families
Jason: oh wow
VCTien: so anyway one day she brings this little niglet baby
VCTien: to meet her new fam
VCTien: and reads her name off of the wrist band
VCTien: and she goes…
VCTien: this is….
VCTien: shady nasty……???
VCTien: and its silent
VCTien: and the mom goes
Jason: are u fucking srs
VCTien: hahahahhahahha

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Oleg is hardc0re

February 13, 2011 at 9:19 pm (Uncategorized)

Oleg: Schedule says: Recurs Every Weekday. From scheduler I see Workday scheduled to run on Jan 31, which is Monday. Are Sat and Sun not a weekdays?

David: Nope. Should be set to daily, including weekends. Weekdays = M thru F only

Oleg: Oh really? So Sat and sun are not part of Weekday? My bad🙂 Will set it to run every 7 days

Jason: Oleg, you are hardcore if you thought Saturday and Sunday were weekdays🙂

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ze database fah-knee

January 12, 2011 at 12:55 am (Uncategorized)

We need this rubber chicken around the HR area that we can use to smack him in the head sometimes. We used to have this a couple of yrs ago when the BI team started out. I think I need to resurrect this!


From: Jay Dizzle
To: D-Rizzle
Subject: RE: Will be reloading schema “O-dog”

Dude, I just emailed him that LOL

From: Jay Dizzle
To: Oleg Savkin
Subject: RE: Will be reloading schema “O-dog”

Can you try:

Where upper(d_emp_manager) = ‘Jabba Wockee’

From: D-Rizzle
Subject: Re: Will be reloading schema “O-dog”


“Jabba Wockee”.

His preferred name is JONATHAN.


From: O-Nizzle
To: D-Rizzle; Jay Dizzle
Subject: RE: Will be reloading schema “O-dog”

Nope, for this name there are no records:

select d_emp_manager, a.*
from dw_integration_prelim a
where upper(d_emp_manager) = ‘Jabba Wockee (Jonathan) ‘

Unless there should be other name.


From: D-Rizzle
To: O-dog; Jay Dizzle
Subject: Re: Will be reloading schema “O-Dog”

Jay dizzle, can you help research the data on the side of things?

Oleg, does Jabba Wockee (Jonathan) at least come up with valid direct reports under him?

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My awesome buddy Jenn…

December 22, 2010 at 6:59 am (Uncategorized)

Fucking stanford + harvard brainiac and funny person extraordinaire msged me on fb and this is what she said:

ur posting of mileage of runs makes me feel bad for being lazy, then ur appetizing food pics make me hungry. (the fact that im at my goddaughter’s house in sunnyvale and just ate a jar of her old baby food an the arm off a decorative holiday gingerbread man may also have contributed to the latter). the holiday season is not the right time for these mind games jason! =)=)

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This is what women do…

October 15, 2010 at 10:43 pm (Uncategorized)

denny: btw–
denny: I was thinking of you know who this am
denny: so i texted the bitch
denny: “Miss ur laughs. Hope ur doing well!”
denny: she texted back:
denny: “Miss u too!!!!”
denny: when she did that: I fucking had a pint of blood straight rush to my shaft
denny: my balls virtually exploded

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can you…

October 7, 2010 at 4:53 pm (Uncategorized)

K23KoR: damn
K23KoR: i passed out literally after i texted you
K23KoR: phone in hand
Jason: nice
Jason: can u do that at my house
Jason: but replace the word phone with “my penis”
Jason: that would be brilliant.
Jason: thank you

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